For any of you just checking in, Tuesday is Day 10 in my pursuit to be more purposeful in praying for my children and I'm including it here on my blog so you can follow along if you'd like to.
Day 10 - Bibilcal Self-Esteem ~ Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Focus on the Family had a great article on the ABC's for parents in building self-esteem in our kids. The entire article can be found here http://http//www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/effective_biblical_discipline/why_kids_misbehave/building_selfesteem_in_your_kids.aspx. Here are the ABC's in a nutshell:
Acceptance ~ If you want to send a strong message to your child that they are accepted, listen and ask questions to show you care about their interests and concerns. In short, develop a relationship with your kids.
Belonging ~ Everyone, whether they are five or fifty, wants to belong. Many people go to great lengths to ensure that they are connected with someone who cares. How can you give your kids a sense of belonging? By creating a community within your family. By creating a healthy self-esteem, a sense of belonging helps your child resist peer pressure and creates a set of expectations for your kids to attain.
Competence ~ The third way to build self-esteem in your kids is to give them the gift of competence. Children become competent when they experience life first hand. If you are an overprotective parent (which I can be at times), we'll need to fight the urge to do for our kids what they can do for themselves.
The way a mother eagle teaches her eaglets to fly is an excellent example of how guiding (without over-controlling) helps kids mature and develop healthy self-esteem. When a mother eagle wants her baby to fly, she waits until her eaglet is 80% of his adult size. Then she sets him on the edge of the nest and pushes him off into the wild blue. She watches her baby bird freefall, then swoops down just in time to catch him on her wings. This exercise is repeated over and over until the baby eaglet learns to fly.
I must admit, I'm glad I'm not that eagle but we need to gradually give our kids the space to grow. Just like the eaglet falling to learn to fly, kids mature and develop a healthy self-esteem by experiencing life first hand, even if it means that sometimes they make mistakes.
Our prayer on Day 10 could be something like this:
Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus.
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2 comments:
i so struggle with not being a 'controlling' parent. thanks for the reminder that we have to give them a chance to fly. i'm loving your blog...it's not only encouraging, but it helps me to be a better mom...thanks christylynn
I'm so there Lindsay with not being too controlling and letting the girls learn how to fly! Glad it's helpful for you. I know that it's helped me. Love ya!
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